Seizing

Sweet Celia-
It's April Fool's Day once again.  A time people play tricks on each other and joke about goofy things and generally try to be wiseacres.  Somehow, this year, it is less fun, falling at the beginning of Easter Week, just when things are starting to get serious at the church.  Or, maybe, it is simply because the day fell on a weekend, so there are fewer people to joke with?  I'm not entirely sure.

But, regardless, lately your life hasn't been anything to joke about.  You've been in and out of doctor's offices and the hospital.  You've had almost every conceivable test to determine what is going on in your head.  Or your body.  Or...?

See, something is making your body stiffen up.  And arch.  And making breathing hard.  And your Momma and Daddy and all of your family are praying as hard as we can and telling every one we knew who knows how to pray to put your name at the top of the list.

And, just when all the big name tests, the MRI and EEG and CBC, came back with no answers, another doctor stepped in.  He had seen another person like you, someone who had similar symptoms, and he educated your previous doctors that this might be a problem that conventional testing wouldn't detect.  So, he prescribed seizure medications, even though there is no proof that what you are having is a seizure.

Ever since then we've been waiting.  Waiting for the medicine to get so soaked into your body that it finally finds that sensitive spot that makes your body do strange things and it stops it from being so sensitive.  But, the seven to ten days of waiting is so, very hard.

See, we want you to be cured now.  We'd really like a miracle;  for this to just go away, without explanation.  For spontaneous healing, like the Bible talks about.  But, so far, we haven't seen that.  So, we wait.

I have been praying for you, baby girl.  I haven't held you since last summer and my arms are aching to be there to help your Momma and Daddy and to rock you and help you through these dark moments, especially when you seem scared or unsure. 

I know you are in great hands.  You are held by God.  Even this moment, as I finish my typing and hit "publish", God is orchestrating that moment when you will be healed of this affliction.  I don't know what that will look like, but I do know that, when that time comes, you will still be sitting firmly in the center of God's magnificent hand.  He will NEVER let you go.

Today I send blessings, not foolish jokes, to you.  We'll save the jokes for when you are older and we can look back on this day and see it as a part of the journey you were on and see how it fits into the big puzzle of your life.

I love you dearly,
Godmomma Jill